ROTTING IS A GOOD THING

It could be the older I get that I start to take inventory of my life and wonder what would be different. What would I have done differently? Where would I have lived? Which places would I have visited? What things have I achieved in life? What have been my biggest successes? What are my failures? As I approach another birthday, I'm thinking about how I can move beyond my limitations. How can I get unstuck? How can I become less comfortable with not planning, not doing, or being? How can I intentionally and on purpose create a meaningful and joyous life? How can I soar above the clouds without turbulence? Why is it so difficult for me to do something as simple as socializing and enjoying the moment? Am I stuck? After living deep in the crevasses of grief and family illnesses for the past four years I feel afraid to plan. I feel like I’m holding my breath and if I exhale some undesirable situation will manifest. I feel like my life is engulfed in problem-solving. And then there’s the business of managing a business and the issues associated with being a CEO. I started living in a space where I felt like the man in the old Duncan Donuts commercial whose life became a revolving door forcing him to say, “I already made the donuts.”  I just had to retreat to doing as much of nothing as possible. I watched series on streaming TV, watched podcasters, and more political programming than was probably healthy. I ate more takeout food than I ever had allowed myself to consume previously. My place of refuge was my home office on the futon.

 I actively engaged in what Generation Z calls “rotting”. My intense work ethic would not allow me to engage in bed rotting so I resorted to futon rotting. During my rotting season, I’ve released 35 pounds, become reconnected to my love of fashion, recommitted to decorating my home, and daily exercise routines, reactivated my blog posts, started two YouTube channels, and left a church congregation that no longer met my spiritual needs. In my mind, I felt so incredibly stuck but there has been tremendous movement. My movement was difficult to see because of grief and the duties involved in trying to help someone regain their health. However, the movement and progress that was occurring in my life cannot be denied. All the endless tears were healing. I can get through days without tears or waves of sadness. I’m better because in doing nothing my periods of doing something were more productive. I am still in a place of incredible transition and will continue to engage in movement through futon rotting.

Peace and Richest Blessings.