No More Ponies

Growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, reading paperback fiction books was one of my absolute favorite things to do. My home was filled with books, periodicals, and several types of music. My mother would go to a popular New Orleans department store and buy specific books for each of us. My older sister and I would get so excited when she came home from work with those paperback books. Oftentimes after my sister finished reading her books, I would read them. She is almost four years my senior, so her books had a more mature subject matter. This one specific book has stuck with me. Well, not the book because I do not remember all the details, but there is a line in the book that has stuck with me. The book is entitled *There Must Be a Pony* by Jim Kirkwood. The main character, Josh, has a dream, and if my memory serves me correctly, he was in a barn, and there were just mounds and mounds of horse manure. As he was shoveling through the manure, he exclaimed that underneath all this shit, there must be a pony.

Isn’t that just like life? There is one situation after the other, and we’re convinced there must be a purpose to the repetitive frustrations we experience. We are only in the third month of this year, and the challenges have been overwhelming. I felt so discouraged last night that I uttered the words Jesus said prior to his crucifixion: “Let this cup pass from me.” While writing this blog, I’m in a hospital family waiting room with a loved one as the patient. I just feel like I’m being dragged by life from one problem to the next. This cycle used to be intermittent; however, since 2020, I’m perpetually shoveling endless piles of manure. I just want to experience a few boring days. You know, those days where nothing in particular has to be done and nothing in particular is going on. I’m mentally exhausted from shoveling piles of manure as an activity. I want this cycle to end. I refuse to accept this as my life path. There has got to be more. I want to wake up without problems pounding on my chest and just embrace the beauty of the day. I want to enjoy every moment of every day to the fullest. I’m ready to put the shovel down and stop shoveling through problems and issues. So, unlike Josh, I’m going to stop looking for a pony and instead experience life through a prism that allows me to reframe problems as situations that require enhanced life management skills.