Why Am I Here?

The struggle is real. What was I created to do? I thought I knew. Well, kind of sort of. I have experienced segments of clarity. Let me dissect that statement a bit. I would describe myself as a person of faith, a church member, a giver, a praying woman, a bible reader, and a spiritual person. I am a curious person, and I fully came to realize in 2006 that God is bigger than my church attendance, daily prayers, and bible reading. I developed more of a spiritual practice and less of a religious one. I came to understand more about scriptures through spiritual teachers that would be described as evil in traditional Christian settings. I learned about vibration, affirmative actions, feelings, thoughts, consciousness, alignment, manifestation, and so many concepts filled with light and luminosity. I say learned, but that is not correct. I embodied constructs that I had read about in the scriptures for many years. Everything made more sense. I vacillated between feeling free and thoughts that I was moving too far away from Christian beliefs or teachings. I was engaging in code switching, but not in the traditional sense. For example, when I was at church or around Christians, I was very hyper vigilant to not let any New Age words slip out of my mouth. When I was not at church or around Christians, I felt free to express myself differently. I felt like I was on a split path.

I started a book club in 2008 and a bible study group in 2009. I used Google Group, Meetup, Facebook, and Twitter to connect and engage with people. So ahead of the times. Taught a women’s bible class at a homeless shelter twice a month. By 2014 I had stopped all the activities and joined a nondenominational church. I walked off the spiritual path and assimilated back into being a good Christian. I would occasionally listen at a message from one of the spiritual teachers, but I could not focus. I used to read for hours, and I could no longer read. I went to church faithfully and I was becoming increasingly detached. In 2023, I joined a newly formed group at church, and I thought this would be a way for me to connect. However, I inwardly knew the leaders were instructed to not use me in any of the key roles. I kept attending but in October 2023 a deep family crisis pulled me away and I was no longer able to take part in weekly meetings. I still attended services at this church until November 2024.

As of this writing I have purposely not joined a church. I visit two churches with family members, and I enjoy the fellowship but there is no compulsion to join. I am okay with my decision. Life has been difficult, but I know the answers are within me and not inside the walls of a building. I realize that the stony roads in my life are for me to walk through. The answers lie inside of the empowering questions I am willing to ask myself. Inside the quantum field lies all the infinite possibilities that exist. And the unfolding of Why Am I Here will be clear not only to me but to all of those that I interact with. I am on a path of enlightenment and evolution. I did not get off the spiritual path I pressed the slow-motion mode and allowed other experiences onto my path. Today I identify as a believer in the teachings of Jesus Christ and I embody the vast wisdom and teachings of the universe. I still do not know what I am created to do but until I get a concise answer I will continue serving others.

MAGA Has a Distorted View of Christianity

Joy Reid formally anchored a popular show on MSNBC called The Reid Out. Since being asked to leave the network Joy is speaking more openly about America’s decline from a democracy to an authoritarian regime. The message and ministry of Jesus has gotten lost in MAGA [Make America Great Again] dogma. Eighty percent [80%] of Christian evangelicals voted for the current regime and even though many of their lives are being decimated they continue to bow their knee to the cruel want to be dictator. Joy’s Facebook video on a holiday celebrating Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection in my opinion vividly parallels the disparity in His message and that of MAGA “Christians”.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1C45PQHFNP/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Constitutional Crisis and the Despot

 The United States has been in a constitutional crisis since July 2024, when the Supreme Court ruled that a president has immunity when he or she is in office. I made this video two months ago one day sitting in my home office. The lighting is bad, and the look is not glamorous, but the words were totally unscripted and impromptu. More recently the current occupant of the White House has essentially ignored the ruling of a federal judge and the United States Supreme Court to return someone being imprisoned in an El Salvadorian concentration camp. MAGA wanted a king to worship and now they have one and he is making their lives a living hell. But they asked for it.

Good News Drought

 

Have you ever wished for something remarkable to manifest in your life—like an unexpected financial windfall, a bonus, a refund, or an inheritance? I am someone who lives in the realm of positive expectations, always believing the glass is half full. I thrive on hearing good news and stories of answered prayers. Gratitude is woven into my daily life; I express thanks to God profusely throughout the day. There’s nothing I cherish more than hearing positive physician reports for myself and my family. As a natural-born cheerleader, I take immense joy in seeing people thrive and live their best lives. But lately, I've been yearning for the exhilarating thrill of receiving good news from a different avenue—like an unexpected check in the mail rather than another bill. Just imagining it fills me with excitement.

 However, I must admit that I’ve been wandering through a "good news desert," with no relief in sight. A desert, as defined, is a dry, arid region that receives little rainfall and has sparse vegetation. The word "sparse" perfectly encapsulates my experience of a good news drought. Good news happens, but its occurrence is inconsistent. And rarely does the news extend beyond medical reports. A welcome mirage of waterfalls would be so rejuvenating, yet that’s not my fate. The heat is scorching and unrelenting, and the longed-for water remains a figment of my imagination. My usual upbeat demeanor feels under siege. Some days, the cloud of discouragement looms large. Hope and faith are my secret weapons. Even on my lowest days, I reach for memories when I obtained a good surprise, I check messages on my family chat page, and I get joy in knowing they are doing well. I find joy in knowing what meals they will be eating or preparing. I get joy in hearing about something they watched on television. So those things become the rejuvenating waterfall in what felt like a desert. I will continue to have hope and faith for an exciting, good news experience but in the meantime, the joys of good health, love of family, and community service will have to suffice.

 

 

 

I Promised Myself

 

On October 24, 2024, a month away from the first death anniversary of my oldest brother I took out my journal and penned these words. I promised myself today I wouldn't cry. But I lied. I promised myself today that I would remember you as you lived not as you died. But I didn't. I promised myself today that I would think happy thoughts and laugh when thinking of you. But I couldn't. I promised myself that when I got in the car I wouldn't think about all the times you were seated next to me and we laughed about a story our younger brother told us from the back seat. But I didn't. I promised myself that today I would accept your pure desire to vacate your body temple to live in an immortal one. But I can't. From the place where you now dwell you know all things. You knew leaving the physical realm would give you peace and leave me with grief. You knew that I would shed endless tears but you knew that my inner capacity for resilience would one day, in time, suddenly surface and I would see you as you now see yourself. Happy, whole, complete, worry-free, healed, and totally void of the cares of this world. 

Soar high, big brother. I know you hate seeing the tears, but you wouldn't trade your current existence for one second in the physical realm. My love for you is endless and without borders. I miss you every second of every day. So today, I promise myself to wait for the sudden moment when thoughts of you will "bring a smile to my face before bringing a tear to my eye." I love you brother I did the best I could. I would do it again for you if I could. Rest well big brother. I love you forever and always.

Otherization, Algorithms, and Freedom

Otherization is defined as labeling and defining people or groups as "the Other," which can reinforce power imbalances and lead to negative consequences. The word algorithm is defined as a process or set of rules to be followed in calculations or other problem-solving operations, especially by a computer. Lastly, freedom is defined as the state of encompassing the ability to act, speak, think, and believe without restriction or interference. 

For the past few weeks, I’ve been viewing videos from around the world capturing various groups of people protesting against their government policies. In each instance there’s a global message of people feeling they’ve been categorized as “the other”. Social media platforms are used to organize “the others” and information has the ability to be shared in nanoseconds. Computerized algorithms gather information from millions of people in seconds. Additionally, the ability to share information from one platform to the other replicates videos and commentaries thereby increasing the quantity of the content. In a minuscule amount of time multiplied millions of people are added to “the other” classification and protests grow. Individuals who’ve never considered themselves as political are standing along roadsides with homemade signs expressing their discontent over an array of topics. People are mad as hell and they’re “not going to take it anymore”. They’re finding their voice inside of what feels like a void echo chamber. Many protesters and activists are afraid because living in a world where privacy no longer exists puts their lives and those of their families in jeopardy. However, they will not allow their quest for freedom to be snuffed out by fear. They want to be protected and treated with dignity and respect. They want enough money for housing, education, emergencies, medical care, and leisure. They are tired of paying inordinate amounts of taxes while multi-billionaires and their corporations pay fewer taxes than they do. They are angry about being discriminated against because of the skin color and gender orientation. They want to be seen, heard, and valued as a human being. They are no longer allowing elected officials to lie to them. They are demanding the truth. They know their freedom is on the line and being silent and yelling at a screen will not evoke any change. Getting involved is the only option.

Theoretically, otherizing identities marginalized people. However, the theory is backfiring because marginalization is a battle cry for freedom and the masses are forming while simultaneously speaking truth to power.

AM I LIVING IN A SIMULATION?

I used to live on a planet called Earth in a country called the United States of America, but I don’t recognize anything. The surroundings are unfamiliar, and breathing requires an oxygen tank because the air is deadly and toxic. While stumbling around with my oxygen mask on I’m reminded of a concept called democracy. My mind starts reeling and thoughts come pouring through such as what happened to the Constitution, civil rights, the Supreme Court, Congress, the House of Representatives, separation of church and state, privacy, human rights, friendly alliances, and allegiances? These days life feels like an amalgamation of the popular show Stranger Things and The Matrix. In other words, it feels like a simulation. Am I living inside a video game, a weird movie, or a streaming series? 

The action of the current leader feels like a poorly designed video game. I’m no gamer but I raised one. Excellent video games are described as those that are beatable with a degree of difficulty. However, the unstable situation within the United States makes it impossible to land in the winner’s circle because the rules of engagement change several times a day. There are constant challenges in how to obtain information. Should I get news from legacy, social, podcasters, or independent media? The news cycle seems to be intentionally spiraling to keep everyone unbalanced. Add this instability to the everyday challenges of life and the feelings of an out-of-body experience are guaranteed. I must develop a strategy to stay tuned in and grounded without being overwhelmed. So how can these challenges be approached? The things that are being done are so bombastic and erratic. Daily I’ve been saying to God how far are you going to let this go on. So many vulnerable people are being hurt. Young children, people living with disabilities, and the elderly are going to suffer and some will die because of the decisions of two people. Millions of citizens elected this person to lead them and their families. Additionally, they elected representatives from their respective states to ensure the Constitution is upheld and their rights are not violated. However, each of these Republican representatives has vehemently abdicated their sworn oaths and is silenced with fear. They have ignored their constituents, and many refused to attend town halls and hear from people who voted for them. It’s only been seven weeks and America has been hit with a massive wrecking ball. I live in a poor red state that depends on numerous government subsidies to survive. Yet the Republican representatives elected to be a voice for their constituents are going along with this cruelty and mind-numbing behavior. 

Everything is truly upside down and millions of Americans have taken the blue pill instead of the red one and are living in an illusion downloaded to them by the Republican party. Unfortunately, they are living in The Matrix.

Humility Test

Writing serves as a cathartic outlet for me. Throughout my life, I have engaged in journaling, affirmation writing, and declarative note-taking. As a believer in Habakkuk 2:2-3, which states "This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed". I attribute my ability to discern the outcome from the outset to this practice

Today, I encountered a particularly challenging interaction with an individual employed by the city government. His behavior was characterized by rudeness and an air of superiority. While in his office, I envisioned how he would interact with individuals who could not formulate a well-thought-out action plan.

Despite the early hour, his apparent disgust and anger towards my submission of the appropriate paperwork, and my respectful demeanor seemingly overwhelmed him. The city official displayed an inflated sense of self-importance and rubbed his eyes as if he were totally exasperated. He believed he possessed immense power and sought to impose his aura upon me. However, he was unaware that I had envisioned a solution, developed a plan, and received earnest prayers from two individuals regarding this matter. Consequently, his negative energy had no bearing on the outcome.

Scripture promises that God can even transform our adversaries into sources of peace. Despite the humiliating and defacing nature of the interaction, I refused to align myself with his negativity. I maintained my firmness, truthfulness, and respect. This was particularly difficult for me, as I harbor a deep aversion to individuals who belittle others.

Occasionally, we may find ourselves in situations where we feel devalued and insignificant. In such instances, it becomes crucial to be mindful of our demeanor when interacting with others and practice true humility regardless of the situation.

No More Ponies

Growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, reading paperback fiction books was one of my absolute favorite things to do. My home was filled with books, periodicals, and several types of music. My mother would go to a popular New Orleans department store and buy specific books for each of us. My older sister and I would get so excited when she came home from work with those paperback books. Oftentimes after my sister finished reading her books, I would read them. She is almost four years my senior, so her books had a more mature subject matter. This one specific book has stuck with me. Well, not the book because I do not remember all the details, but there is a line in the book that has stuck with me. The book is entitled *There Must Be a Pony* by Jim Kirkwood. The main character, Josh, has a dream, and if my memory serves me correctly, he was in a barn, and there were just mounds and mounds of horse manure. As he was shoveling through the manure, he exclaimed that underneath all this shit, there must be a pony.

Isn’t that just like life? There is one situation after the other, and we’re convinced there must be a purpose to the repetitive frustrations we experience. We are only in the third month of this year, and the challenges have been overwhelming. I felt so discouraged last night that I uttered the words Jesus said prior to his crucifixion: “Let this cup pass from me.” While writing this blog, I’m in a hospital family waiting room with a loved one as the patient. I just feel like I’m being dragged by life from one problem to the next. This cycle used to be intermittent; however, since 2020, I’m perpetually shoveling endless piles of manure. I just want to experience a few boring days. You know, those days where nothing in particular has to be done and nothing in particular is going on. I’m mentally exhausted from shoveling piles of manure as an activity. I want this cycle to end. I refuse to accept this as my life path. There has got to be more. I want to wake up without problems pounding on my chest and just embrace the beauty of the day. I want to enjoy every moment of every day to the fullest. I’m ready to put the shovel down and stop shoveling through problems and issues. So, unlike Josh, I’m going to stop looking for a pony and instead experience life through a prism that allows me to reframe problems as situations that require enhanced life management skills.

 

Is There Value In Emptiness?

Is there value in emptiness. That sinking feeling that kind of starts in the stomach and moves up through the chest into the throat and in the eyes and sometimes leads to tears. Today I had a fairly good day at the office. I had some boxes and bags of clothes that belonged to my father who passed away in February of 2022. The exterior of the boxes were marked dishes. As I was opening the boxes, I thought you live your whole life and then the things that you valued end up in boxes in storage units and that's it. I just kept unpacking, and my brother was there, and he had gone through several bags of things that had also been in storage for a few years. Both of us was going through the motions of sorting and clearing through things my brother wanted to keep, give away, or donate.

Later we did our usual talking on the way home. I dropped him off and felt gratitude for our banter on current events. When I arrived home, I got off to myself and had dinner then this feeling of deep emptiness just permeated me, and I thought God is there a purpose for emptiness? Is there value in feeling hollow? Immediately the thought came just sit in it. Sit in the emptiness. Don’t fill it with an activity. Don’t look at social media. Don’t look at the television just sit in it and allow it to move through you as you start to reach for better feeling thoughts. Allow the emptiness to just guide you to a better feeling thought. I realized in the moment that emptiness is not sadness. Emptiness just is. It is a space inside of a space and in that space of being hollow I can start to recognize and accept that it's OK to feel absolutely nothing. It's OK to feel the heaviness in my chest to feel tears welling up in my eyes it's OK because this too shall pass but, in the meantime, I'll sit in it and just as it consumed me allow it to dissolve it's OK all is well.

BEWARE OF DISTRACTIONS

 

A few weeks ago I started a YouTube channel called Serendipity Shena. You might think what a strange name. So what does the word serendipity mean? "Serendipity in American English is  (1). an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident, (2). good fortune; luck".  I believe life is full of opportunities whereby we unintentionally find valuable discoveries by chance. I wanted to create a space for me to share two things I love talking about politics and religion. I know these two topics alone have destroyed countries, marriages, friendships, and the list is endless. However, I enjoy taking political and biblical information and applying it to everyday life. The first video for the channel was approximately two weeks after the recent inauguration of the United States president. The word that permeated my mind within the initial days post-inauguration was distraction. People that I had conversations with were becoming fearful. frustrated, and hopeless in a short period. I wanted to share my thoughts and created a video. 

The inserted video is totally my opinion. Peace and Richest Blessings.

MAGICAL EXPERIENCE

 Living in Southeast Louisiana our world revolves around weather events. We have become experts at living with hurricanes and flash floods. Our winters consist of at most ten days with morning temperatures in the mid-forties. So, imagine the shock when meteorologists forecasted four inches of snow on January 21, 2025. The snowstorm brought ten inches of snow to New Orleans, tying the record set in 1895. The snowstorm also brought near-blizzard conditions to the city.

The New Year 2025 came in with a terrorist attack and many beautiful souls lost their lives and suffered horrible injuries on historic Bourbon Street. The city of New Orleans was numb. Even thinking about it now is earth-shattering. So, the shock of receiving a large amount of snow last month could only be described as magical. It felt so light and airy easing the heavy solemn mood that had eviscerated the city commonly referred to as the Big Easy. We had no experience with driving or walking in the snow. It didn't matter and we didn't care we just enjoyed the magical white stuff that was falling from the sky, The experience was magical.

ROTTING IS A GOOD THING

The older I get, the more I start to take inventory of my life and wonder what would be different. What would I have done differently? Where would I have lived? Which places would I have visited? What things have I achieved in life? What have been my biggest successes? What are my failures? As I approach another birthday, I'm thinking about how I can move beyond my limitations. How can I get unstuck? How can I become less comfortable with not planning, not doing, or being? How can I intentionally and on purpose create a meaningful and joyous life? How can I soar above the clouds without turbulence? Why is it so difficult for me to do something as simple as socializing and enjoying the moment? Am I stuck? After living deep in the crevasses of grief and family illnesses for the past four years I feel afraid to plan. I feel like I’m holding my breath and if I exhale some undesirable situation will manifest. I feel like my life is engulfed in problem-solving. And then there’s the business of managing a company and the issues associated with being a CEO. I started living in a space where I felt like the man in the old Duncan Donuts commercial whose life became a revolving door forcing him to say, “I already made the donuts.”  I just had to retreat to doing as much of nothing as possible. I watched series on streaming TV, watched podcasters, and more political programming than was probably healthy. I ate more takeout food than I ever had allowed myself to consume previously. My place of refuge was my home office on the futon.

I actively engaged in what Generation Z calls “rotting”. My intense work ethic would not allow me to engage in bed rotting so I resorted to futon rotting. During my rotting season, I’ve released 35 pounds, become reconnected to my love of fashion, recommitted to decorating my home, and daily exercise routines, reactivated my blog posts, started two YouTube channels, and left a church congregation that no longer met my spiritual needs. In my mind, I felt so incredibly stuck but there has been tremendous movement. My movement was difficult to see because of grief and the duties involved in trying to help someone regain their health. However, the movement and progress that was occurring in my life cannot be denied. All the endless tears were healing. I can get through days without tears or waves of sadness. I’m better because in doing nothing my periods of doing something were more productive. I am still in a place of incredible transition and will continue to engage in movement through futon rotting.

Peace and Richest Blessings.

Are You the Answer to Someone’s Prayer?

 Are You the Answer to Someone's Prayer

Where Have You Been?

 

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

Oh, wow my last blogpost was in April 2016. It was a video that I did in the conference room of my old office space. It was a day without makeup, but a lot of thoughts. I was consumed with how great people functioned in the midst of being very afraid and was inspired to do a video. My life has changed so drastically since 2016. Little did I know April 2016 was the last month of my life being settled and mundane. My greatest worries were college tuition for my son and ensuring my company had funds monthly to remain self-sustaining. May 2016 ushered in a tsunami of challenges that still seem to overtake me. I have been walking with wobbly water legs since. Some days I just feel I cannot go on. There are no real respites. I just stop and decide to be grateful, smile, laugh, and encourage others at sporadic intervals throughout a given day. I always make a point of telling others that as I encourage you, I encourage myself.

The people that receive services through the non-profit I have been blessed to steward are my sheroes, heroes and props. They make me laugh and their desire to change their lives gives me strength to catch my breath to be there for them. We truly are helping each other. In the swirl of politics, a pandemic, and mounting societal issues everyone has been living with water legs. So, I was well equipped for the challenges placed upon the world in 2020. Thankfully, today I feel more hopeful than I have been in the past four years. There is no specific event and there is no financial windfall it is just an inner knowing from Holy Spirit that “the storm is passing over.”

The subject Where Have You Been? connotes a sense of missing in action or lost. However, it is in the sense of being lost that I have come to realize that I was actually collecting unfinished fragments of myself that allowed me to truly relate to people that live with insurmountable challenges. I accepted the assignment to help people experience a life of accepting the person God created them to be. Not realizing that to be fully engaged in the assignment required what felt like a total collapse of my life as I knew it. I said to a few people I do not even recognize my life. Where did it go? What happened to it?

Today I know that nothing happened to me or my life. I needed to grow and things that seemed like challenges were designed to strengthen my spirit to be of greater service. Nothing has been withheld or held back. I believe that God is a master mixologist with capacity to take hard chunky pieces and make them like silk. The blending process is loud, resistant, and sometimes parts of us gets stuck on the walls of life in the process. Then God comes and moves the stuck pieces back into the blended parts. The outcome is delicious, tasteful, and aesthetically appealing. Additionally, the completed blend does not display evidence or proof that at one time the ingredients were detached and foreign to each other.

Therefore, the question is not Where Have You Been? but Where Are You Going?

NEVER ALONE

Each of us have heard someone proclaim "I'm alone, but not lonely." Being able to separate the two is typically a good sign that an individual has a sense of appreciation for their alone time. In other instances an individual has no desire to be alone, they crave and desire consistent interactions with others or a specific person. It is in this seemingly unfilled desire that loneliness and often depression creeps in. Sometimes feelings of loneliness and depression become all consuming literally sucking the life out of a person. There are numerous reasons that serve as an impetus for alienation. Issues related to health, an inability to lose weight despite valiant efforts, loss of income, betrayal, divorce and abandonment are perfect catalysts to feel that God is not concerned about you or your needs, wants, and desires.When life hits below the belt there is an instinctive need to grab the belly and double over in pain while falling to the floor.

Two days ago I was listening to a question and answer podcast and the person asking the question had so much despair and wanted to literally cave in and quit. The despair was so palpable and real. I could relate so much to the caller because I too was in the same situation and have yet to find a permanent solution to this problem. After the person expressed their problem the host blurted out Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Tears just streamed down my face as I felt the love, care, and warmth of God spewing forth from those verses of scripture. I was shocked by the response of the host and yet it was exactly what I needed to hear. I don't know about you, but sometimes I live in my head and the voices of my problems speak louder than the voice of God. I am in the process of going back to the beginning and tuning my ear to the One who gave me life. 

For the past twenty-two years I've felt as if my foot has been constantly on the accelerator and I need to just pump the brakes. I need to literally measure my thoughts against the validity of God's word and discontinue living inside my head. At this moment I know God is with me, He will rescue and protect me, He expresses joy and gladness over me, His love is available to quiet my racing mind, and He loves me so much He sings over me.

Friends you are Never Alone. The Creator of the Universe holds you in high esteem and is there with you every moment of your life. "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

I AM AFFIRMATIONS

Life is beautiful! However life can also be difficult and hard. It is so easy to allow tragedies, disappointments and setbacks to get in our way. Thereby sullying God's sacred posture in our human experience. When Moses had an encounter with God and questioned how he was to identify or describe God to the children of Israel. God replied to Moses:

"I Am Who I Am. Say this to the people of Israel: I Am has sent me to you."

Mirror work has been used for eons to bring people into alignment with their purpose, destiny, and calling. Instead of reciting traditional positive affirmations let's use scripture for backup.

Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself

•I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God which lives and abides forever 1 Pet. 1:23
•I am forgiven all my sins and washed in the blood Eph. 1:7
•I am a new creature II Cor. 5:17
•I am the temple of the Holy Spirit I Cor. 6:19
•I am delivered from the power of darkness and transformed into God’s kingdom Col. 1:13
•I am redeemed from the curse of the law Gal. 3:13
•I am strong in the Lord Eph.6:10
•I am holy and without blame before Him Eph. 1:4
•I am accepted in Christ Eph. 1:6
•I am blessed Deut. 28:1-14
•I am a saint Rom. 1:7
•I am qualified to share in His inheritance Col. 1:12
•I am the head and not the tail.
•I am above only and not beneath Deut. 28:13
•I am victorious Rev. 21:7
•I am dead to sin Rom.6: 2, 11
•I am elect Col. 3:12
•I am loved with an everlasting love Jer. 31:3
•I am established to the end I Cor. 1:8
•I am set free Jn. 8:31-33
•I am circumcised with the circumcision made without hands Col. 2:11
•I am crucified with Christ Gal. 2:20
•I am alive with Christ Eph. 2:5
•I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places Col. 2:12
•I am His faithful follower Eph. 5:1
•I am the light of the world Matt. 5:14
•I am the salt of the earth Matt. 5:13
•I am called of God II Tim. 1:9
•I am brought near by the blood of Christ Eph. 2:13
•I am more than a conqueror Rom. 8:37
•I am in Christ Jesus by His doing I Cor. 1:30
•I am an ambassador for Christ II Cor. 5:20
•I am beloved of God I Thess. 1:4
•I am the first fruits among His creation James 1:18
•I am born of God and the evil one does not touch me I Jn. 5:18
•I am a king and a priest unto God Rev. 1:6
•I am a joint heir with Christ Rom. 8:17
•I am reconciled to God II Cor. 5:18
•I am overtaken with blessings Deut. 28:2
•I am healed by the wounds of Jesus I Pet. 2:24
•I am in the world as He is in heaven I Jn. 4:17
•I am a fellow citizen with the saints of the household of God Eph. 2:19
•I am sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit Eph. 1:13
•I am complete in Christ Col. 2:10
•I am the apple of my Father’s eye Ps. 17:8
•I am free from condemnation Rom. 8:1
•I am the righteousness of God through Jesus Christ II Cor. 5:21
•I am chosen I Thess. 1:4
•I am firmly rooted, built up, strengthened in the faith and overflowing with thankfulness Col. 2:7

I am a disciple of Christ because

•I have love for others Jn. 13:34-35
•I am built on the foundations of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the chief cornerstone Eph. 2:20
•I am a partaker of His divine nature II Pet. 1:4
•I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works Eph. 2:10
•I am being changed into His image Phil. 1:6
•I am one in Christ! Hallelujah! Jn. 17:21-23
•I have all my needs met by God according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus Phil. 4:19
•I have the mind of Christ I Cor. 2:16
•I have everlasting life Jn. 6:47
•I have a guaranteed inheritance Eph. 1:14
•I have abundant life Jn. 10:10
•I have overcome the world 1 Jn. 5:4
•I have the peace of God which passes understanding Phil. 4:7
•I have access to the Father by one Spirit Eph. 2:18
•I can do all things through Jesus Christ Phil. 4:13
•I walk in Christ Jesus Col. 2:6
•I press toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God Phil. 3:14
•I live by the law of the Holy Spirit Rom. 8:2
•I know God’s voice Jn. 10:14
•I show forth His praise I Pet. 2:9
•I always triumph in Christ II Cor. 2:14

I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE

 

It is so easy to get lost inside of our minds and believe things about ourselves that are untrue. Sometimes we have to step back and consult with the ultimate authority regarding our importance and significance to the Creator of the Universe. 

Psalm 139:1-18

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! I can never escape from your Spirit. I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night-but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you. You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand. And when I wake up, you are still with me.

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I JUST DON'T GET THE GREEK STUFF

I admittedly am not a fan of Greek life. I attended Greek Shows at Xavier and Dillard Universities while a student at Our Lady of Holy Cross and they were always fun. However, I had been volunteering and serving others since I was in elementary school so it made no sense to me to pay an organization to serve others. It just sounded ridiculous and full of hype. So my son starts attending Dillard University in 2013 and I wanted him to live on campus to experience "college life". Little did I know that he would be recruited by the Greeks. When he mentioned as a freshman that some guys from Alpha Phi Alpha told him he should look at them I was dismissive and firmly stated he needed to keep his focus. During the sophomore year his interest intensified. My husband and I presented this negative picture of fraternities, but he was firm in his desire to pledge [for a sense of brotherhood]. All of his application requirements were in order and the chapter decided not have a line last year. I was so relieved and thankful. At the start of his junior year my son said he definitely would not pledge. Once again I was so excited and thankful. Then he went to an informational meeting and felt drawn to pledge Alpha Phi Alpha. I was totally ignorant of the great leaders that were a part of the organization until doing some research.

                                                 

I had so much trepidation and didn't want him to pledge, but he decided this was the path he wanted to take to manhood. I gave the required permissions and prayed incessantly. On 11/14/15, during the Neophyte Show I realized in a whole new way that my son came through me, but he is not for me. He made the decision while fulfilling his campus leadership responsibilities and transformed into an Alpha Man in the process. I will never get the Greek stuff, but today I can say I'm a Proud Alpha Phi Alpha Mom.

GREEN LIGHTS

On December 31, 2014 I discovered our home network was having problems so as is the routine when your modem and router essentially stop communicating with each other the following steps ensued: unplug devices from their power source and allow them to drain for a few seconds; press the restart button; look for green blinking lights. I worked on both devices until almost 8:00pm and decided to not be pulled into the new year with a problem. Around 1:30am I thought about something I had not tried and my husband quickly went to our home office and tried unplugging the telephone line from each device all to no avail.

On January 1, 2015, I awoke at 8:00am determined to resolve this matter. With a large cup of coffee in hand and a pack of chewing gum I was ready to get to the bottom of the problem. The clock ticked through the day and finally at 5:30pm I contacted the manufacturer of the router. The conversation was circular in nature with the bottom line being if you would pay $29.95 we will give you the technical support needed to possibly remedy your problem. "Your router has to be reconfigured and that might help." I responded to the technician "it might not help and I'll be out of $29.95. I'll contact the warranty plan and just get a new one that way I can speak with you free for 90 days." He thought that was a good idea as my home probably needed an upgrade to our router because of multiple wireless devices and live streaming." So during the interim I pulled out a router previously used at my office and our wireless internet connection resumed. 

On January 3, 2015, after identifying that we had a working modem and faulty router. I contacted the warranty company for the router and was rapidly refunded the full price of the router. The customer service representative stated "do not send us the old router, we don't care what you do with it. Take the refund check and buy you a new router. I know how difficult it is to not have use of your wireless devices. You should have the check in 7 to 10 business days." I was so grateful to God for a smooth transaction. 

I continued to look at YouTube videos on how to reconfigure the particular band of router that was inoperative. I was able to get it configured and then a message came: you are not connected to the internet. So the router was emitting a signal, but the internet [i.e. modem] was not connecting with the signal. I decided to contact the ISP [Internet Service Provider]. We discussed all that is previously stated and knowing the inevitable was coming: "did you try to plug the ethernet cord directly into your PC?" My response was yes and I also used another router and I have wireless internet capabilities. "Well therefore, you do not have a problem with your modem or internet service. My response "yes I know, but, most internet providers are no longer using this modem, because it stops communicating with routers and emits a much slower signal. Why are you all still using this modem? You need to offer something better that will keep up with high level routers." I proceeded: I just spoke with another internet provider before speaking with you and they do not use this modem because of a proclivity for compatibility issues. He said "oh we have another modem and we can send it to you at no charge. In fact you will not need a router. The router and modem are built in one. So you can get rid of your router. Stay on the line I can process your order right now." 

So here it is all along the gatekeeper [ISP] had the key and I was going through another source [the router] that sometimes worked and sometimes did not work only to return to main source [ISP]. This labyrinth is so reflective of our relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Our sources [jobs, health, family, friends...] for all intents and purposes are working well [all the green lights are blinking]. There are a few hiccups that cause us to unplug, reboot and restart. However, when life causes static through an array of circumstances we sometimes will just malfunction. No amount of rebooting, unplugging, or reconfiguring will remedy the situation. This is where we have to return to God and get something "new". We know there is nothing new under the sun, but we see things from a renewed perspective. In 2015, let's put the complicated or big stuff before God our ultimate gatekeeper and allow Him to send people and situations to push us on the path where the lights are green all day long.